"American Idull" musings.
Luke - Best looking male... worst vocalist. I don't even understand why a guy who came all the way from Memphis is trying to do '70s lite FM. Find your inner Josh Gracin already, dawg. I wasn't feelin' it.
David Cook - Second-worst vocalist. Actually, he might be a poorer singer than Luke. Luke can almost kind of carry a tune, even though his voice is pretty weak and he doesn't know how to use what little he has. David's basically tone deaf. What on earth did they see in this guy? They cut probably two dozen better male vocalists in Hollywood -- and those are just the ones we saw.
Danny - Hey, wait a second. Shouldn't she be peforming tonight? Well, all the same, terrible performance. Vocals, moves, everything. Sanjaya would be pleased. His audition was eons ahead of this junk.
Robbie - It was akin to hearing Eddie Vedder singing a Celine Dion ballad. Stage presence was okay, but the arrangement did him no favors. He needs to rock out.
Leif Garrett - Dreadful. It was like some ghastly children's dinner party. I'm not in you, bro. P.S. 1976 called. It wants its hair back.
Jason Castro - Not a great singer. Not a great performer. Definitely not a great idea to go to Bob Marley's hairstylist. He isn't karaoke, though, that I'll give him. He might do better with some other song, but needs to lay off the smiling. That grin is, like, five tokes over the line.
Chikezie Breezy Beautiful - Way to railroad the best male singer there, AI! Nice work! He can do much better, as we've heard, and I don't think The Spiral Starecase was exactly the group to get the crowd going, but he still blows away most of these silly, tuneless white boys.
Colton - I knew this guy was going to suck when his Hollywood audition wasn't even half as good as the glee club nerd that they cut in favor of him. (No, you're not the only one with suspicious minds as to the reasoning behind that decision.) He didn't let me down. As to who butchered Elvis more -- Colton or Daniella -- well, Jon Peter Lewis probably still has the market cornered there, but it was a close race nevertheless.
Jason Yeager - The "Idol" equivalent of a kamikaze mission. He actually does have a fairly solid voice, good tone if not range, but why would you do that song your very first time before a voting audience unless you are eager to go home?
David Hernandez - Great potential and certainly one of the better guy singers. For once, I agree with the judges. It was terrific at the beginning and then kind of trailed off like he had no clue what to do with that arrangement, but he's got the goods there much moreso than some of the golden children this year. Unfortunately, like the Navy alien last year, it's not going to be enough.
Michael - Incredibly clueless song choice. Luckily for him, he's got more sex appeal than the other interchangeable white dudes. That, and the "Ozzy" accent probably doesn't hurt.
David Archuleta - Aw, how cute. They brought in one of the tots from "American Juniors!" I guess for 17 he ain't too bad. But nowhere near ready to run with the big boys.
Going home: Jason Yeager and either Luke Menard or Leif Garrett. Although I hope we vote off a David. There's two too many of them, and neither of them are any good.
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I agree.
